2018-2019 school year
My senior year started and I really have not put too much thought into it. I had a really horrible junior year, possibly the worst year of my life, and I just block out most of it. I feel like I skipped forward in time from sophomore year to senior year. So it hasn't really sunk in that I am a senior yet. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it but I know I do. I know that even though I feel like my work from junior year is not good enough.. it actually is. I'm still here so that must mean something.
I had a very difficult year. I'm still facing so many hardships and I don't really know how long it will last. Though I don't like to think about it. I do think of the past but not in a somber, nostalgic way. I think of the past in a happy manner for the most part. I also don't think of the future anymore because that makes me too anxious. I only think of my present day and I think I am content. I'm not sad and I'm not the happiest I've ever been but I am doing okay! The trip in Japan really renewed me for this upcoming year and any negativity that I had washed out for the most part. It almost feels like I have a clean plate... just with all the same people. Now I am trying to find my place in school and life, which might be nowhere, anywhere, or somewhere in between! I am not really sure. Though that doesn't actually matter.I am not discouraged rather I am uplifted. I am supposed to adapt, change, and grow. I don't have to understand the process but I do have to do the process.
This is where I always wanted to be in my life. Since I first heard the word "college" when I was 5, I told my parents I wanted to do it. So I worked so hard all my life, not because my parents told me to, because I wanted to. Education has always been very important to me.. If you ask anyone in my family, they can tell you how important it was to me. So to see it coming true doesn't feel real. It wasn't really about grades to me, though it does help, rather it was about feeling fulfilled when I learned something new. In my family tree, I am the first one to go to College, and I will be the first one to graduate. I am still confused about what the future holds for me but at least I will have that. I will use the opportunities given to me the best way I can. I am very optimistic about this year academically. I know that I am capable of creating some of my best projects this year. I love architecture and I love learning how I could use it. I know I picked the right path because, there is always something new to learn and there is always something new to create. This hasn't been very easy for me at all but I am happy.
This is where I always wanted to be in my life. Since I first heard the word "college" when I was 5, I told my parents I wanted to do it. So I worked so hard all my life, not because my parents told me to, because I wanted to. Education has always been very important to me.. If you ask anyone in my family, they can tell you how important it was to me. So to see it coming true doesn't feel real. It wasn't really about grades to me, though it does help, rather it was about feeling fulfilled when I learned something new. In my family tree, I am the first one to go to College, and I will be the first one to graduate. I am still confused about what the future holds for me but at least I will have that. I will use the opportunities given to me the best way I can. I am very optimistic about this year academically. I know that I am capable of creating some of my best projects this year. I love architecture and I love learning how I could use it. I know I picked the right path because, there is always something new to learn and there is always something new to create. This hasn't been very easy for me at all but I am happy.
Comments
Post a Comment