Insomnia

I can't go to sleep. I've been having this problem a lot lately. It's gotten really bad. I think it has to do with stress .I have been so stressed out because of school. I have so much I have to do for school. I use to be able to balance it but then I couldn't anymore. Since then I've been playing an endless game of catch up. I have to do well in history but my grades are horrible in math. I have to do well in physics. I have to do well in English. I can't fail. I can't fail. I can't. If I fail at school I won't get far. So I study as much as I can but, it hasn't been enough. I have to admit I have a problem with procastination but that's because I have so much more to do besides school. I am not only a student but a sister and a daughter too.Then I spend hours trying to understand my homework because I never understand it. But how can I focus on anything when all I want to do is lay down in bed and sleep? But I can't go to sleep because then my sleep schedule will really be messed up. So I stay up late to do my homework and staying up late leads to more stress. Stress ontop of stress. Even when I do get to sleep early I still end up sleeping around 12-1 a.m. because that's the time I usually sleep. I cannot do this anymore. I have been so stressed out and it's starting to show. I have super dark circles under my eyes .I literally look like I just rolled out of bed every morning. Because I prefer to sleep an extra 30 minutes instead of getting up and eating breakfast and getting ready. I've been losing weight. I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't eat the foods I'm suppose to. I haven't been exercising. I haven't been sleeping early. My body hates me for not caring. It all starts with insomnia. My mind is so busy that it never lets me sleep. People have such high expectations of me and I hate hate hate to disappoint them. But I need to start thinking about myself. Spring break could not have come any later. I needed this break. I can finally recover. I remember when I was in Mexico in winter break I was so happy. I never wanted to leave. I remember sighing as I told my dad before we left "Now I have to return to my stressful life." I couldn't have been more right. I don't recall ever being this sleep deprived before. I hate it. The worst of all of this is, it's my fault. It's my fault for not being smart in math. It's my fault for wanting to spend time with my mom. It's fault for being slow. It's my fault for being an over achiever. Everything is my fault. I have to try to sleep... So even if that means me staring at the ceiling for the next hour.. So be it. Goodnight.